So, who is this girl, and why do I still care after more then 15 years?
I still to this day have never met anyone like her, smart and funny, althletic and sencitive, at the time she aspired to be a surgeon, was a chearleader and a softball player.

Me? I was short fat, and unpopular, I met her in science class the first day of eigth grade, and she was nice to me, witch was a rare thing at that time in my life, I was over 200 pounds, and not many folks had a use for me. but brandy treated me like a person, and I will never forget her for that fact alone, I mean, there were a few other people who went out of their way to be nice to me, but you could tell their heart just wasnt in it, and if anything that just made me feel worse.

So as time passed, we talked, a lot, and by the end of the year we passed notes sometimes two or three times a day, and I was madly, totally completely in love with her, I know people say things like that a lot, but this little blonde girl owned me, mind body and soul.

Of course, she didnt or didnt give any hint that she did, have any feelings for me other then freindship, I was the one she could talk about her day with, share her biggest problems, and darkest secrets with, by the end of that year I imagine I knew more about her then any other person on the earth.

It was so bad, I started watching my moms soap operas, becouse I knew she liked to watch them and it was one more thing we could talk about. She told me about the kind of music she liked, and of course those songs became my new favorites.

By fall of that year, I was happier then I had been in a long time, just for being able to call her my freind, her smile made my day, and lit up my world, and I constantly made up or learned new jokes to make her laugh and smile, there was not a thing I would not change or do to get her attention.

so by holloween time, I had already asked my parents for a weight set for christmass, I bugged them about it over and over and over, and when they finally said they had bought me one, I wouldnt even wait for christmass, I made them give it to me a week or two early.

Now my days were pretty regimented, as soon as I got home from school Id go lift weights, untill it was time to call brandy, wed talk on the phone for hours it seemed, and after, I would be even more motivated and go work out more till bedtime.

The remaining months were a fairly big blur, there were some other things going on in my life that got me into a lot of trouble, I had made some new freinds, and they were the type to lead you down the wrong road, im not sure how much weight I lost in that period, but I know I was still quite fat by the time school let out in the spring.

Things really started to happen in the summer tho, and I droped the weight fast, haveing more time to lift, and to ride my bike, all total I lost about 40 pounds, and I was ready, I was going to tell her exactly how I felt, the local summer festival was about to start, and I invited her over, my best freind came over before she was suposed to get there, and I talked his ear off for over an hour about her.

I dont remeber that afternnon well, I know brandy and joe were both there for a while, we were in my basement, joe was sitting on the weight bench, and brandy and I sat on the opposite sides of a trundel bed that I used as a couch in my little basement hideaway.

My dad called for me, I had forgotten some chores earlier in the day, that I had promosed to do before brandy got there, I had little choice but to go do them, and told brandy and joe id be back in a half hour or 45 minutes, I was gone for over an hour.

I came back downstairs, and it was silent, I allready knew something was wrong, I dont know how I knew it but I did, I slowed my steps, walked quieter, and came upon them makeing out on my stowaway bed.

I stood for what seemed like an eternity, but could only have been a second or two, before I turned around and walked out, I ran outside, trying to catch my breath, I was suddenyl breathing so hard, my mind was realing, and raceing, I couldnt think, or breathe.

I am not proud of what happened next, all I can remeber is thinking how he knew how I felt about brandy, he knew what I had planned for the day, and that no matter what, I had just lost my best freind, and the girl I was in love with, all at once.

I went to the garage, and I picked up a metal pipe, I dont know if I searched for it, or if it was in plain sight, but I remeber picking it up, and practice swinging it a couple times, you do not want to know what I was thinking at the time, it still surprises me when I think on it myself, the whole world was awash in red hate, I started down the stairs, I slowly, so slowly crept into the back of the basement, past the washer and dryer and the clothes hampers, up behind the furnace, slowly I slid to the edge of the furnace, and peaked around.

I think they must have heard me leave the first time, becouse they were no longer kissing, they just lay there, side by side, looking like they were asleep, I raised the pipe, my head was on fire, the muscles in my arms burned with each small movement from being clenched so tight, I stepped out with pipe raised, and saw her face, and the rage vanished.

I stood there for a second, pipe lowered, totally numb, feeling drained, and unspeakabley sad, shattered even, and then the tears started comeing, and I felt a burning tearing sensation in my chest, I threw the pipe down and ran before the pain in my chest could tear out of my throat with a sob I didnt want either of them to hear.

The pipe made quite a racket as it hit the floor, and out of the corner of my eye I saw them both startle upright. I ran out, and to the backdoor where my family kept a notepad on a string, and as quikly as I could I wrote a note for both of them to get the hell out, becouse I never wanted to see them again, and wasnt responcible for my actions if I did.

this post is plenty long enough, and its quite late here, so I will go and give you more of the story later

find people fast

Find people fast? not likely!

in the late 1980s, I knew a girl named brandy frayer, (I will not give my name, or where I am from, as I am happily maried and intend to stay that way!) as far as I know she moved to phoenix arizona in our freshmen year of highschool. Before she moved she lived in michigan with her mother and stepfather and had a grandfather who lived in the north of michigan and an older brother in the army. She had told me her father had passed away when she was very small. and thats about all the information I can remeber (or share)

I am not looking for her to rekindle lost love, but once you have given your heart to someone so fully, you will never just forget about them. in my opinion without some sort of catastrophic event, true love never dies, it just changes.

I still think about brandy every now and again, and I would just like to know that she is ok, and maybey to say "hi, hows life?"

I have spent hours searching for her online, with all these companys that guarentee results, but find little, even after haveing paid a couple of them, so I figured id make a blog, and see if any of you could find her.

The closest I have come to posibly locateing her, is an old address in phoenix, and two adresses in NJ (mountainside and lincoln park) wich list a brandy frayer in the appropriate age range.

I will check back from time to time, and maybey update the page with some of my story, even if it dosent work to find her, some of you might be entertained, and who knows, it might be that talking about it really does help.